I Want to Be an Ironman….Am I nuts?

This was probably the most mentally challenging week for me.  So much so, I emailed our coach and asked for guidance.  Being a teacher in the state of Wisconsin right now puts a big old bulls eye on your forehead and the public not in support are not holding any punches.  Add to that being the mother of three young adults who are struggling to find their way in college and life choices.  Now, figure in working two jobs, trying to be a good wife and friend – this equaled a near mental breakdown for me.

Again, I have to thank this team and my wonderful husband for helping me to find perspective.  Rob is so patient with me when I get….. well let’s just say a bit bitchy.  It is so refreshing to have a mate that is able to communicate with me instead of being totally reactionary and irrational (have I mentioned that this do-over has been great for me 😉 )  Maggie was very wise and helpful.  I am trying to segment things as she suggested.  When I am at work, I focus on work.  When I am at home, I focus on being a wife, mother, and me.  When I am working out, I focus on being an athlete.  And most important of all…. when I am overwhelmed, it is not a failure to skip a workout and rest.  As Maggie reminded me, I cannot be superwoman.  I have felt a weight lifted off my shoulders as I approached the second half of my week with this new-found philosophy.  Interesting how we are usually harder on ourselves than anyone else could be.

Brook (Paul’s wife) is back from Mexico and I am so glad to have her back.  I have made such dear friends in this sport of triathlon.  I feel truly blessed.  We gathered at the Smith house for our traditional Friday night dinner and wine post workout.  I look forward to these evenings all week.  I even find myself impatient during the Friday evening run just to get done and home to the dinner, wine, and camaraderie.

I feel proud to have finished this week feeling strong, especially in comparison to how I was feeling on Wednesday.  Killer workout today with our swim coach, but I am feeling confident that I managed everything she threw at us.  Mike is gaining some much needed confidence in his abilities.  I am inspired by his drive to work hard and improve.  He is cruising right along in the pool.  I will be anxious to see how his work will translate to the lake.  These Sunday swims are brutal but oh so funny at the same time.  We are thinking we must start a quote book.  Our swim coach is amazing and so knowledgeable, and brutally honest.  I will leave you with three of our favorite quotes thus far.  Joan to Angie when I was having a hard time breathing with the side kick drill with one goggle in and one goggle out…. “well what are you doing, breathing in through your nose?”.. Angie “yeah”… Joan…. “well, dumbass”   Joan to Pam when Pam told her that her backstroke would not be that pretty…”well your front stroke isn’t all that pretty either”  and finally, Joan to Paul when he explained that his catchup swim was all messed up because he was kicking too much, “yeah, right…. you kicking too much is like me have too much chocolate, not possible”

Love to end the week with those types of laughs!!

Part of my goal during this Ironman training was/is to get more mentally tough on the run when fatigued from swimming and biking.  This week has gone a long way in improving my mental toughness and confidence.  On top of training, it has been a really stressful week for two of us on this team, for different reasons.  In spite of the chaos and emotional burdens, we hammered out some great workouts.  It is really nice to have the team all back together and on the same page…. thanks Mike 🙂

Tuesday’s are crazy for me.  This Tuesday called for a 1.75 hour bike in the am (we start at 4:30 am) and a 45-60 minute run in the afternoon.  So… after waking at 4:15, biking, and teaching all day I got myself out there for that run.  Although it was a lot warmer, the wind was wicked!!  About 20mph.  In the past, knowing I was running by myself (without the group) I would have been very tempted to blow off this run.  Even as I waited for my GPS to lock into a satellite outside school, I had thoughts of that creeping into my head.  I pushed them away, hit start on my watch and had a great run all by myself. Got back to school with just enough time to shower off and head to Viterbo University for my night gig teaching Human Biology.  I am using these experiences to do some mental checks when it comes to racing this summer and ultimately at IM.  I am pretty sure that teaching all day in a high school could be equivalent to a swim and bike at least in an Olympic distance in terms of fatigue.  So to do a 50 minute run with strong winds in a really respectable time is providing me with a mental note to myself when I am racing this year.  “Girl, you ran pretty fast after ………., so put on your big girl panties and pick up that pace.”

Yesterday’s long workout proved to be another mental victory not only for me, but for the entire team.  2 hour bike with 2 sets of intervals at z3/z4.  We actually were late on one of the intervals because we were all enthralled with the show we were watching, “Men of a Certain Age.”  Too funny.  Then a quick transition off to an hour run at Z2.  I felt GREAT!!  Paul ran with me and we were chatting the whole way, running a steady 9:08 per mile pace.  Rob kept Pam and Mike running together and they averaged 9:24 pace.  Wow…. what an impressive group.  Each step I took put more confidence into my mental capability to realize my physical abilities.  Paul was thrilled to run with me and feel so good.  Rob (let’s be real, could have put us all to shame as he is a much faster runner and has proven his mental toughness over and over) said he needed a run in which he felt great as well.  Keeping the group together added to his satisfying feeling on that run.  Pam overcame a week’s worth of stress and strife, and a pretty quick run the evening before, to log in an impressive brick.  And Mike…… is getting his cup more filled with confidence.  We will continue to push him to realize his talents and win his mental battles along the way.

And….. the icing on the cake is that after all of these physical victories, we celebrated our successes as only our team can do.  Eating a lot of food and laughing until our sides split!  This is the true joy of this experience.  Watching your friend giggle from her toes after a week of nastiness and negativeness.  Seeing your friend glow with a new found confidence in his abilities.  Gathering at a friend’s house and feeling as comfortable as you would in your own home.  Thank you team, for these great memories and the support to win my mental battles.

Wow, it is hard to believe we are into the second month of our training program already.  Due to illness, (me, Rob, and Pam) the last week of January took the planned “recovery week” to a new level.  Between Monday and Friday I got one swim in, which in the long run has paid off.  After a day home from work and the break from workouts, I felt pretty close to 100% this past week in the workouts.  Rob did not fair as well….. he ended up with influenza and a sinus infection.  So I finally convinced him that he needed to stay home from work, rest, and see a doctor.  He is on his 4th day of an antibiotic for his sinus infection and is looking human-like again.  His plan is to rejoin the workouts on Tuesday.  I hope he listens to me and eases back in as his Type A personality trumps mine any day of the week :-).   Pam’s yuck is lingering as well.  I sure hope she finds some relief soon!

Yesterday’s swim-bike-run workout was just two of us – me and Mike.  Pam traveled to Milwaukee with her foster dog for an event (a much needed break from these workouts for her with that yuck).  It was nice to have some one on one time with Mike.  His sense of humor and shear determination to do well and improve is a constant source of inspiration for me.  He took every piece of advice on the swim I threw at him and tried to implement it, and wow is he improving in leaps and bounds.  This is a guy who just 2 months ago would not swim a workout without fins.  Yesterday he was kicking the length of the pool with no kick board and his butt was feeling air.   And yes Mike….. nice butt.  We both giggled through the bike on those machines at the YMCA…. taint, gooch… doesn’t matter, still uncomfortable.  Then on to the run.  Again, wow am I impressed and inspired by Mike.  He went along with my method of a longer run (as this is how I will race the half iron- probably a different ratio at IM) to run 10 minutes and walk a minute.  Including the walks, we ran an average pace of 8:53 per mile.  He did inform me that that is his 5k pace….. well not anymore.  I am of the philosophy to finish every workout fast, a mental check that you can dig deeper and go a little harder when you are tired.  So at the end of this run, I took off and called to Mike, “finish strong now,” and he was right there pushing as hard as he could.  Did I mention Mike will be competing in the 70-74 yr age bracket at IM?  Thank you Mike for your determination, because it provides me with the sense to know I can do anything I set my mind to as well.

This week we got in 11 hours and I am feeling strong and exhausted all at the same time.  Bedtime is getting earlier on the weekends than ever before.  Glad tomorrow is a rest day, because the team is gathering at another runner’s house to watch the Packers in the Superbowl.  Paul returns this week, Mike and Pam travel to New Orleans for the half marathon, and Rob will start back in.  Life is good!  And remember the lessons I have learned this week from Mike (and a reminder of my Dad… rest his soul…. coach for 25+ years)…  “if you think you can’t, you are right”  and “if you could of, then you should of”

versus distance, I need to remind my brain that an hour is simply 60 minutes and I will not get there any faster.  I have had to chuckle at myself a couple of times this week as I pick up the pace toward the end of a bike or run thinking that will get me done faster.  But the reality is, time is time – right!  All is not bad with this warped sense of thinking I have, because finishing a workout strong is not all bad.

And, I have not only been chuckling at myself this week.  I am enjoying and appreciating our training team more and more.  We have had more laughs than painful time, and at least we all know the painful times are being shared by all.  That must be some sort of human nature thing, anything is more bearable when you know someone else is suffering just as much as you are.  Pam has a friend who has qualified for Kona 2011, and he also keeps a blog about his trials and tribulations.  She copied one of his posts to me on Friday about confidence, and wow did it help.  We did our Friday night run in the dreaded dungeon of the LaCrosse Y on the dreadmill, oops I meant the treadmill, and I used his message to pound out a great run at a nice pace.  So… if any of our posts help even one person to stay motivated and reach for a goal…. I will feel honored.  Speaking of confidence, I believe Mike has found some in the water.  Last week we worked extensively on his under water pull motion in which he has implemented the improvement quite consistently.  This week, we tweaked his kick a bit and he is making such great improvements.  He is like a sponge- so willing to learn, it is so great to see.

Rob had to miss the entire weekend of workouts as he is sick.  Poor guy… he and my daughter Alexandra are suffering with sinus congestion and fever.  He was smart to not do the workouts and just rest.  I am not so sure he would have done that 5 years ago, so I am glad that he has learned from past experiences.

So… in the spirit of sharing inspirational thoughts and in honor of our Green Bay Packers,

“The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur. ”
–Vince Lombardi